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A memorial just as it was meant to be
My last bouquet of roses from Dad I don’t know why I dreaded Dad’s memorial today, but I did. But it was perfect even in its imperfections. As I told my son tonight, Thom, everything was exactly as it...
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My brother Dean took Dad home
Of my three brothers, Dean is closest in age to me, just three years older. As he explained in his remarks at yesterday’s memorial, he and I knew the kinder, gentler version of Dad. Dad used to say...
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My brother Bruce remembers, “My Dad was cool!”
At my mother’s memorial in 1999, we were all too raw to share personal remarks, but at Dad’s memorial, it seemed right to share our memories and reflections. Together, we painted a more complete...
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Scott speaks to Dad’s exemplification of Marine values
My eldest brother, Scott, 15 years senior, kicked off the family remarks at my father’s memorial on Saturday. He spoke from notes rather than full text, so I’ve done the best I can to recreate them...
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I’m not done
Celebrating a friend’s 50-year milestone birthday My father had several pet peeves when it came to American usage. When asked, “Were you in the military?” he would answer, “No.” He was a Marine, which...
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The Voices in My Head
I’m hearing voices, but don’t worry about me. I’ve only been home three weekends since Dad died on January 12, and only this week has life begun to coalesce around a new normal. I’m back to my usual...
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On My Trip I Took A…
When you lose someone – expectedly or unexpectedly – many supportive people and institutions come forth with suggestions about what to expect. They want to do what they can, say what they can, to help...
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A Year Past: Good Friday at the House of Mary
On Good Friday last year, I found myself, quite by accident, at a place of Christian pilgrimage in Turkey. We were on a shared 30th anniversary trip with dear friends when our tour guide decided to...
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Seeing, believing, remembering, trusting
Yesterday my friend and mentor Jim sent me a short email: “Giving thanks for your Dad’s life tomorrow. HUGS.” It didn’t surprise me that Jim would suspect that this is a time of reflection for me....
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“Be Careful What You Wish For…”
I read the entire paper this morning – I mean, every section of the New York Times and some of the Sacramento Bee. While being a caregiver can be deeply rewarding, every caregiver has her little...
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